Until It Feels Safe
—
Billie J. Daniel
My husband believes
the end of the world is coming
and he wants us to be ready for it.
He’s been staying up late,
doom-scrolling the news on his phone.
Whenever our Wi-Fi cuts out and the people on TV
begin to glitch like they’re stuck in a time warp,
he’ll rush to the window to check for signs
of the apocalypse or nuclear missiles.
They detonate in my dreams, but I
wake up before I can see the light.
He says it’s the sudden silence that makes him anxious.
Like he’s in a movie and it’s the moment before something
terrible is about to happen.
He’ll stand by the window,
holding his body in the same position,
counting from one to five until it feels safe
for us to continue with our evening.
When our daughter asks,
“What’s Daddy doing, Mummy?”
I tell her Daddy’s got special powers,
he’s going to keep us safe, even if it means
sacrificing himself.
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Billie J. Daniel is a writer, artist, and educator based in London, from a working-class background. He graduated from Central Saint Martins with a degree in Fine Art. His work explores ideas of love, connection, anxiety, and trauma, and has previously featured or is forthcoming in HAD, Maudlin Press, BULL, Plague Circus Press, Blood + Honey Lit and others. His debut pamphlet, Your Life An Event That Has Already Happened is coming out with Shadow and Sax Press in 2026.
Website | Instagram
the end of the world is coming
and he wants us to be ready for it.
He’s been staying up late,
doom-scrolling the news on his phone.
Whenever our Wi-Fi cuts out and the people on TV
begin to glitch like they’re stuck in a time warp,
he’ll rush to the window to check for signs
of the apocalypse or nuclear missiles.
They detonate in my dreams, but I
wake up before I can see the light.
He says it’s the sudden silence that makes him anxious.
Like he’s in a movie and it’s the moment before something
terrible is about to happen.
He’ll stand by the window,
holding his body in the same position,
counting from one to five until it feels safe
for us to continue with our evening.
When our daughter asks,
“What’s Daddy doing, Mummy?”
I tell her Daddy’s got special powers,
he’s going to keep us safe, even if it means
sacrificing himself.
Billie J. Daniel is a writer, artist, and educator based in London, from a working-class background. He graduated from Central Saint Martins with a degree in Fine Art. His work explores ideas of love, connection, anxiety, and trauma, and has previously featured or is forthcoming in HAD, Maudlin Press, BULL, Plague Circus Press, Blood + Honey Lit and others. His debut pamphlet, Your Life An Event That Has Already Happened is coming out with Shadow and Sax Press in 2026.
Website | Instagram