Final Letters

I.

Something we wanted out here. God only knows.

I wasn’t the fastest swimmer in my daddy’s balls, but dammit if I wasn’t the steadfastest, dodging motherfuckers left and right, already talking shit. My sister played tackle while I ran decoy. Even so, we came out a man down, a third unknown soldier absorbed in the breach. Out popped my sister,

(FIVE-MINUTE INTERMISSION)

then making his worldly debut, kidneys busted all to hell—yours truly. A bloody miracle. Doc looked at me like a scorched croissant. I shouldn't be here. I’m here, but I shouldn't be. I'm glad that I'm here, but I’m not supposed to be. But I am.

I'll get straight to the heart of it, as you’ve always been able to console me: What was all the hubbub about? Why the big rush? I fought for my life to have a life. Why?

Yours,

Tubbs McBubbleman

II.

My beloved Tubbs,

In order to get it, you can’t.
If you don’t, then you do.

To get it, forget it.
To stop, stop stopping.

There, you get it.
Because you don’t.
Because you couldn’t.

And that’s how you do—
by not.

Got it?

Also yours,

[REDACTED]

Lentil Soup

I think my presence makes people uncomfortable. And I’m scared all the time. And I’ve become convinced that the great sin is being born at all. And that seems kind of silly to me. And if to be here is to be of sin, then that’s a crummy philosophy that I reject. How do you reconcile with this, being spurted out of the cosmic womb, and for what? I’m eating lentil soup on the coldest day of the year. It’s a family recipe. Not my family.

Better Than Gregor

When I turned into a cicada it wasn’t even that bad the whole Gregor metamorphosis controversy was overblown albeit I can fly and he can’t which makes me objectively better anyways I just wish that I wasn’t going to die @ end of summer though that’s how it goes for us cicadas I spend my days landing on trees and since I’m human-sized I can sap entire branches at once I have big red ancient eyes he can hardly get out of bed





Spencer Eckart lives in the Great Smoky Mountains. His work has appeared in Midcult*, Pithead Chapel, The Dodge, Burial Mag, and scaffold, among others.

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