Tom the Boy

When I was young there were the Pottyboys. They were the boys that talked about shit and piss. They did dinosaur stuff, too. They made farts with their mouths and one time one of them got hit by the train. But it was just a little bump. He was fine. They had a train that came through town to kill the little boys who are bad. It went off the tracks if it had to. This boy though was just a little bad. He didn't say Piss and Shit or Fart. He said Pee and Poop and Toot. So the train just bumped him. It bumped him in the ass. It broke his butt so he couldn't walk for a few months. But it was just a bump. He was fine. I always played with the sensory bin or the magnetic tiles. I sat on the circle or the hexagon. I liked to say Hexagon. I never even said Toot. Not even at home. Every other one of the Pottyboys was killed by the train before we turned fifteen. Some boys weren’t Pottyboys at all and they were all fine though. I tried asking Tom if he was ever afraid of the train once when we were kissing behind the pizza place and he said No. He said I’m Never Afraid. But he never kissed me anywhere else but the lips until college. Then he kissed me a lot of places. This is all to say I understand. I’m not really surprised. I’ll let Tom know. Thank you.

The Accident

Dan said I couldn’t shoot it even though he said I could shoot it before and I really wanted to shoot it because he and Peaches got to shoot all the other guns and I had to wear ear muffins and didn’t get to shoot anything at all and I really wanted to shoot it and it's unfair he said I couldn't shoot it because he said I could shoot it before we even got there and I didn't even ask to shoot any of the other guns because I just wanted to shoot that one and he still said I couldn't because he said I was too small even though I'm really strong and I can do a pull up and he said  he couldn't even do a pull up and I really wanted to shoot it and he just said no no no no no and I got mad like really really mad about that and when he was going to shoot it I was even madder because I wanted to shoot it really bad and I thought we could both shoot it together when he was going to shoot it and I just wanted to put my hand on it and like help him hold it or aim it because it really was really really big and looked really heavy and I really wanted to help shoot it like he said I could and I don't think it was really that heavy because it moved a lot when I touched it when he shot it and it shooted really high over the big hole and into the air so it really wasn't that heavy at all because it moved so much when I just touched it a little bit and he was mad because it shooted up in the air instead of in the hole like into the back of the hole where they shoot all the other guns and he was saying bad words like Shit and Motherfucker but I just wanted to see like how far it would go in the sky and I watched it and it went really really far and then this big spaceship was flying in the sky and it hit the spaceship! Really!! It went like BLAM!!!

Loveman

This is Toeman. This is Tallman. This is the Longman. This is the Longdog. This is the coffeedog. The coffeedog wants your coffee. Your coffee is polar cherry seltzer mixed with espresso on ice. Your cup is a jar. A nice jar, though. Your dog isn't Toeman. Not really. I just said that. And it's not actually Toeman. It's Tallman. Hold up your pinky. Hold up your Ringman. Hold up your Tallman. Hold up your Pointer. Hold up your Thumbkin. Now you have everything you need. Gimme five. Gimme a sip. Gimme some of that coffee. Lemme lap it up. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Dip your Toeman in there. Lemme lap it up. That's a good Toeman. I'm going to do the worst thing to you I can think of later and I think you're gonna like it (:





Zac Smith is here and he brought granola(?)

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